BEHIND HIS MASK
by Tribeca
Summary: Another "deleted scene" brought directly to you from my Shenny warped mind. This is what happened after the Halloween party. Nobody knows but them. And all of us.


**A/N: As I write this I find myself in a painfully angsty mood. So is this fic.**

**After watching in disgust as L/P copulated all over Pasadena on the episode last night, I felt there was not a lot I could do to "fix" this episode. It is what it is. I almost feel like I should apologize in advance for this fic…hope I didn't let you down, there just wasn't much to work with. I'm incredibly frustrated with the show right now. Just please, don't kill the messenger.**

**I wish I could quit this effing show.**

BEHIND HIS MASK

"Hey Moon Pie, come 'ere," she giggled as he reached the top of the stairs.

Penny was standing inside her apartment, the door cracked open just far enough to make eye contact with him.

He smiled because he always smiled when she called to him. Of course he'd always attempted to hide his smile because no one needed to know how she made him feel, that she made him…_happy_.

He shoved his keys back into his pocket and turned to go into her apartment instead of his own.

"Look what I found online," she laughed as she spun around the room with her arms spread wide, her bare feet dancing across the floor.

He watched her silently, soaking in her joy, relishing in the wonderment of her exuberance for life. She was a mystery to him; she had been since the day they'd first met.

"It's a Princess Peach shirt," she said, prancing towards him, shimmying her shoulders as she drew nearer to him. He attempted to remove his gaze from her breasts that bounced under the faded pink shirt as if they were beckoning him to come closer. He wasn't very successful and he awkwardly shifted his stance. She realized his conundrum and it made her laugh even more.

"And look it," she smiled up at him and then skipped into her bedroom, returning in a flash with a similarly faded red shirt in her hands and thrusting it towards him, "I got a Mario one for you. They match!"

He took the shirt from her hands and shook it out for a better view. He released his customary breathy laugh, his mind going back to the time she'd found him playing the old Nintendo game in the stairway. She'd confessed to him then that she had played it when she was a kid and that she had pretended to be Princess Peach. She had even dressed as the pretty princess a couple of times for Halloween.

"They're faded because they're vintage. I got them off eBay."

"What?" he squawked, dropping his shirt to the floor. "Penny, the word vintage is just another way to express that an item is old and has been used. Who knows where that came from and what germs have made their home in it. I strongly urge you to take yours off before you become infested with invisible but very active and dangerous bacteria."

"Sheldon," she sighed, bending to retrieve his shirt from the floor, "I washed them. In hot water. Twice. Just for you."

He stepped back but reached skeptically for the shirt. He had to admit that he really liked it. And he liked even more the fact that he could have a shirt that matched one of hers. Sort of like a couple. _But not._

"I was looking around online for costume ideas. That's how I found the shirts. I just couldn't resist buying them. Anyway, I guess Leonard and I are going to go to Stuart's party. Amy told me you guys are going too."

It was a painful subject for them both but it was their reality.

He nodded, "Yes, and she too has expressed her desire to dress as a couple. She would like to go as Romeo and Juliet but that is out of the question." His Texas twang rang out clearly and Penny knew it was an indication that he was distressed.

"I'm sorry sweetie," she tried to soothe him.

"Penny? Would it be acceptable for you and me to dress as Princess Peach and Mario for the party? I could easily whip up the proper costumes. And unlike the time you dressed as Wonder Woman on New Year's Eve, there would be no need for you to wear a wig. Princess Peach has blonde hair similar to yours. I think you would find it comfortable and very pleasant."

She smiled and moved closer to him, fisting her shirt with one hand and raising the other to place it gently on his forearm.

"I'm sorry Sheldon, but no, it would not be acceptable. You are with Amy and I am with Leonard and I don't think either of them would be very happy with you and me dressing as a couple. It's just…no…it wouldn't be good. Besides," she added, trying to soften the blow, "you're way too tall for Mario anyway."

"Very well," he said calmly, turning to leave. "Thank you for the shirt Penny."

She reached for him as his hand made contact with the doorknob. He stopped and pressed his forehead against the cold wood of the door. They had been here before. Too many times.

"Sheldon…"

"I know. Goodbye Penny."

xxxxxx

His breath was hot. It escaped his flared nostrils, hit the back of the C3PO mask and bounced back angrily into the flesh of his face. He had to squint to see though the holes in the mask and it allowed absolutely no peripheral vision. His body was tired and his mind was cloudy with regret. Repressed feelings, wrong choices and misguided advice had landed him here and he wondered if he was too far gone to re-set and begin again.

He caught the reflection of himself in the store window and shook his head. He looked ridiculous. He was C3PO dressed as Raggedy Andy. The long, lean, shiny golden body of C3PO was tainted by the dangling red yarn and white sailor's hat that perched on the smooth head of his costume. He had worn many costumes through the years, for Halloween and Comic-Con and lots of other occasions, but he'd never been ashamed or embarrassed by any of them. _Until now_.

He turned his head to the side and tilted it downwards and looked over at Amy. She was beaming in her Raggedy Ann attire. This was momentous for her, having a boyfriend, attending a Halloween party dressed as a couple…a somewhat dysfunctional couple, but a couple none the less. It was her time to shine and she deserved to revel in it. The significance of this moment in her life didn't escape him.

He lifted his head and straightened his body, turning to the side, peering out the eyeholes of his mask as he surveyed the room. He caught sight of Howard and Bernadette with their blue paint and wondered if maybe Wolowitz looked even more ridiculous than he did. Was a smurf worse than an amalgamation of CP3O and Raggedy Andy? He made a mental note to research it later.

"Amy, you look so cute!"

Her voice. He didn't have to strain to look down. He knew Penny was there. A moment later he felt her finger poke him in the side. Only she would take the time to find the sole opening in his carefully constructed costume that would fit her digit and allow access to his body.

"You look adorable Sheldon," she said as he turned and adjusted his gaze on her, noting the outfit she wore. The Princess Peach outfit he had envisioned for her would not have revealed as much skin as the sleazy cop outfit did.

"I look ridiculous," he hissed. She swirled her finger around in circles, pressing into the undershirt he wore beneath his costume in an attempt to calm him but all it did was cause him to tightly shut his eyes and try to chase away the inappropriate thoughts he was having about her.

She leaned towards him because she was sure with his head encased in the mask he would have trouble hearing her. She slid her finger out, hooking it over the edge of his outfit and pulled him towards her as she pushed up on her tiptoes.

"You always look adorable to me. No matter what you are wearing."

She released her hold on him and he watched as she slid her arm around Leonard's and walked away. Later in the evening as the party wound down, he found out from Amy's gossip that Penny had banged (Howard's word) Leonard while they were in the TARDIS. Twice. He silently thanked Jesus that he still wore his golden mask. It served to hide the pain that rode the waves of his cloudy blue eyes.

xxxxxxx

The party was over. Amy drove him home. He scraped the itchy red yarn and sailor's hat off the top of C3PO's head but kept the mask on. She told him he could take it off now that the party was over. He thanked her but replied that he preferred to stay in character until he returned home. She stopped the car in front of his building to let him out. She didn't stay around, acutely aware of his foul mood. Leonard had stayed behind to help Raj and Stuart clean up from the party. He'd already gotten what he wanted from Penny so there was no need to rush home and beg for it. Howard and Bernadette had dropped Penny off at her apartment on their way home.

Sheldon jerked the mask off before he'd made it to the second floor. He'd hidden behind it all night and it felt good to remove it now...now that he didn't have anyone or anything to hide from. The sudden rush of air cooled his heated face. His damp hair shot in all directions. He wanted a shower and the comfort and refuge of his bedroom.

She was waiting for him when he rounded the forth floor. The slutty cop outfit was gone, replaced by her Princess Peach t-shirt and turquoise pajama shorts. He stopped just before reaching the landing of his floor.

"Hello Penny," he said roughly, "Leonard's not with me."

"I wasn't waiting for Leonard," she said in a voice so soft he'd have missed it if he hadn't already removed his C3PO mask.

"I need a shower and then I'm going to bed. Good night Penny."

"Take off the top of your costume Sheldon," she said, her green eyes scanning his golden clad body.

"What?"

"Take it off. Right now. I want to see what you are wearing under it."

"Penny, that is highly inappropriate. I suggest you get some sleep. I will talk to you in the morning. After eleven a.m. of course."

She moved towards him, taking the mask from him and laying a hand on his cheek.

"For me, Sheldon. Please. Just let me see. I have to know."

"Penny."

"I have to know," she repeated.

Without further protest he slowly pried the Velcro attachments apart and removed the top portion of his costume. He stood exposed before her, wearing the red Mario shirt she had given him just days earlier. He'd worn it because in some odd way it had made him feel a little closer to her. After hearing what she had done with Leonard in the TARDIS he had wanted to claw the shirt off his body and burn it. He wished he still wore his C3PO mask so that she couldn't look so deeply into his eyes.

"How did you know?" he ask her, embarrassed that his secret had been revealed.

"Because I know you," she said. "Because I know _us_."

"Us?" he cocked his head to the side and raised his eyebrows.

"There has always been us. There will _always_ be us."

"So I guess that explains why you engaged in coitus with Leonard in the TARDIS. Twice."

His attempt to veil his pain and anger with sarcasm did not go unnoticed.

She shrugged her shoulders, "It numbs the pain."

He opened his mouth to respond but stopped as they heard Raj and Leonard's laughter traveling up the stairs.

"Good night Moon Pie," she whispered, escaping into her apartment before the other two men reached the forth floor. Sheldon quickly unlocked his door and was safely hidden away in his bedroom as his friends entered the apartment.

His text alert sounded and he dug his phone out of his pants pocket.

Penny: I have your mask.

Sheldon: I shall retrieve it in the morning.

Penny: I hated not seeing your face at the party. Don't wear a mask again.

Sheldon: I liked it. It was the best part of my ludicrous costume.

Penny: You liked it because it allowed you to hide your feelings from anybody who was looking at you.

Sheldon: I stand corrected.

Penny: Why did you need to mask your feelings Sheldon?

He thought for a moment, her words from earlier banging a sad but true rhythm in his head. Then he sent her his heart wrenching reply.

Sheldon: It numbs the pain.

Penny: Point taken. Good night Mario. Happy Halloween.

Sheldon: Good Night Princess Peach. Happy Halloween.

Penny fell asleep soon after, curled in a tight fetal ball, her knees tucked securely under her Princess Peach t-shirt.

Sheldon showered quickly, avoiding any possible contact with his roommate. He just wanted to sleep, to turn off his brain for awhile. Going against every mysophobic thought that dwelled inside of him, he slipped the faded red Mario t-shirt, still damp from his perspiration, over his head and then pulled his flannel pajama top over it. He buttoned the shirt, got into his bed, assuming his usual vampire-like state, tucked himself in and fell asleep.

Maybe next Halloween would be better.


End file.
